


Bruises

by bunniecub



Category: taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, It just hurts, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunniecub/pseuds/bunniecub
Summary: A taekook au inspired by the song Bruises by Lewis Capaldi.Post break up with flashbacks.





	Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first au I've written for BTS, it's quite short but it works best this way.

_It's been a decade since wide doe eyes met pretty, mischievous ones. A decade since a bond was sealed, since the stars aligned and two boys found their home in each other's hearts._

The sound of the piano fills Jeongguk's ears through his ear phones, he watches through the screen as Taehyung delicately plays the intro for his song.

He sees the way Taehyung's long fingers glides across the keys, notes the way Taehyung plays where he never lifts his fingers off the keys. Always at least brushing them, never even hovering over them. Jeongguk remembers joking that there were magnets connecting his fingers to the piano. He still believes it, Taehyung's long, pretty fingers were meant to glide on the instrument.

_It's been a half decade since their first romantic I love you was shared. Whispered into the crook of Taehyung's neck, red cheeks to match a burning nape._

_Jeongguk didn't know why it slipped out then, maybe it's because Taehyung looked absolutely adorable in his too big hoodie (one that Jeongguk drowned in himself). Maybe it's because Taehyung was looking at him through the practice room mirror with a look that made Jeongguk think maybe he felt the same way too? Or maybe it was just him being tired of not saying it, the words bursting out of him after years of being repressed. Because, he thinks, he's always loved Taehyung._

_And Taehyung? Taehyung is floored. Because this boy, this beautiful boy, who is golden, loves him. Loves Taehyung the way Taehyung loves him. He turns in Jeongguk's arms to face the younger, and when his eyes falls on the hopeful expression on the younger’s face, he thinks he falls in love again. A dozen times._

_“I love you so.”_

“Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me,” he starts, voice a little higher than his normal register but still comfortable. Jeongguk feels his heart do The Thing at the sound.

The Thing it always does, because Taehyung's voice makes him feel everything - all at once, all encompassing.

“And every breath that I've been taking since you left feels like a waste on me,” his eyes are still set on the keys, deliberately not looking at the camera he placed there himself. Not asking someone else to film, not wanting anyone else to see him like this (despite the video being posted unedited) and wanting to feel some semblance of control over his situation.

“I've been holding on to hope that you'll come back when you can find some peace, cause every word that I've heard spoken since you left feels like a hollow street.”

Jeongguk wonders if he means it. If he means the words that are puncturing his heart. And then he remembers it's Taehyung, of course he does.

_It's been a year since they made the promise - us, no matter what._

_They'd both been under a lot of stress, post comeback season and they were exhausted._

_There'd been fights, none escalating too much, one of them leaving before it could go too far but it still hurt._

_It hurts arguing with someone you love. It hurts shouting at the person who is at the center of your universe._

_So Taehyung snuck into Jeongguk's room the night after a particularly long day, wrapped himself around the younger as he placed a kiss - a I love you, a hey I'm here, a I care about you and I don't want to fight - on the crown of his head._

_“Taehyung?”_

_“Yes Bun?”_

_“No more fights, I don't want to fight with you baby, I'm sorry.”_

_“Me too, from now on it's us being happy first no matter what.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

“I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind,” Jeongguk wonders who's been telling him this.

“But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind,” Taehyung rolls his shoulder when he sings that lne, Jeongguk knows it's because it was his favourite place to leave hickeys. Taehyung always smacking him upside the head because ‘hiding these are gonna be a bitch Jeon!’.

Jeongguk hopes Taehyung is referring to those bruises and not the emotional ones - the ones that hurt. He feels his heart ache, he is _so_ sorry..

“Oh my Lord, oh my Lord I need you by my side. There must be something in the water. Cause everyday it's getting colder, and if only I could hold you you'd keep my head from going under.”

Taehyung remembers writing that line clearly, ‘you'd keep my head from going under’. Jeongguk was his lifeboat and since losing him, he felt like he was drowning.

“Maybe I'm, maybe I'm just being blinded by the brighter side, of what we had because it's over well there must be something in the tide.”

Everything, Jeongguk thinks, his everything is in that tide. In their relationship. In what it was.

“I've been told I've been told to get you off my mind, but I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind. Oh my Lord, oh my Lord I need you by my side,” he takes a breathe and his playing is becoming more fervent, more passionate, more angry.

“There must be something in the water, cause everyday it's getting colder and if only I could hold you you'd keep my head from going under, ” Jeongguk feels the familiar heat in his belly as he registers Taehyung's gravelly voice when he repeats the chorus. He wonders how long Taehyung's been able to sing in that raspy way, he wouldn't be surprised if he was able to do it for years. Taehyung's talents had a habit of staying hidden and then appearing when the elder thought them relevant.

_It's been a month since Taehyung's world came crashing around him._

_“What? Jeon if this is some sort of prank it isn't funny.”_

_“Taehyung I'm sorry. I don't know what to say okay except I'm sorry I'm so fucking sorry,” when he reaches out to take Taehyung's hand and he flinches away it hurts. It hurts so bad, but he deserves it. He knows he deserves it._

_“Do you, do you want to be with him?”_

_“Taehyung-”_

_“Answer me Jeongguk.”_

_“I don't know.”_

_“But you do have feelings for him.”_

_“Yes.”_

_And Taehyung wants to say he remained strong, that he didn't cry because he could handle it. He could handle it. He could handle it._

_But he can't say that, because he couldn't._

_So with tear stained cheeks he offered Jeongguk a smile, and if Jeongguk wasn't already a mess that smile would've broke him, and with a voiced lidded with anguish said, “I hope he makes you happy Jeongguk.”_

“It's your love I'm lost in, your love I'm lost in, your love I'm lost in and I'm tired of being so exhausted,” and his voice, it sounds exhausted. And Jeongguk is _so sorry_.

“It's your love I'm lost in, your love I'm lost in, your love I'm lost in even though I'm nothing to you now.”

“You're not! You could never be nothing to me,” Jeongguk hears himself say before he even realizes he is speaking. But no one is there to listen.

_It's been a week since Taehyung saw them hold hands, Jungkook and not-Taehyung that is. He remembers the look on Jungkook's face as he realized that Taehyung wasn't staring at him but at his intertwined hands, with not-Taehyung._

_He tried to manage a smile, a nod even, but when his eyes met Jeongguk's all that he felt were tears forming._

_So he turned and left, forgetting the producing lesson he scheduled with Yoongi. Forgetting everything except the fact that someone else was holding Jeongguk's hand and someone else was holding his heart._

“Even though I'm nothing to you now.” But he isn't. He's Jeongguk's world, too bad that it took the younger having someone else's hands on his waist and someone's eyes on his face to see that.

“There must be something in the water cause everyday it's getting colder,” and all Jeongguk wants is to keep him warm.

“And if only I could hold you, you'd keep my head from going under,” he sings, voice picking up volume and his pain bleeding through the lyrics of the song.

“There must be something in the water cause everyday is getting colder and if only I could hold you you'd keep my head from going under,” he finishes with a breath.

He plays the outro, eyes still closed as the sound of the piano fills his ears and his mind.

_It's been a day since he decided to do it, to bear his heart for the world to see. Posting his own self written, self composed, self produced piece of heartbreak._

_‘Well,” he says, as he posts the video, “I'd always said I'd write a song for you Jeongguk.”_

_Namjoon’s empty studio doesn't say anything back._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it ? in the masochistic way one enjoys angst fics hhhh
> 
> if you want you can talk to on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bunniecub)


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